fight or flight?

it's an overused phrase. with so many other versions to it. but it's one of those phrases which haunts me. over decisions made. over decisions about to be made. am i a fighter or am i a runner? wish i was a fighter but i've taken flight before.

there were moments when the challenge i faced before me was so frightening. so unnerving, so very intimidating that i did not even consider any other option. i turned and i ran.

i ran once when i was 15. once more when i was 17.

these moments made me feel small. i made up reasons. trying to convince the people around me that i wasn’t running away from the challenge. i just had something else that needed my attention. but i could not deceive myself. could not even convince those around me. i know they knew. and that just made it worse i think. and every time i ran, the journey back was tough. never easy to face the demons of the past.

throughout my childhood and teenage life, i tried doing what i wanted to do. what i thought was right. it’s not always unchartered territories. but i would like to think that i’ve had my share of adventures. not exactly the road less travelled by. not the common highway too. in the end, a few years from now, who will i see in the mirror?

i don't expect to see the giant i want to be.

i hope i don't see the dwarf i've been avoiding as well.

a view inside the big white mosque in abu dhabi - reminds me of elvish carvings. pic has nothing to do with the post though... =)